Embracing Life's Journey

Follow my evolving path to happiness and fulfillment through life's ups and downs.

One of the best pieces of advice I have ever received came less than 24 hours after my eight-year-old son was killed in a car accident. She described the stages of grief. She then said, you may not go through every step, you may not go through every step once, you may not go through every step in any certain order. Just know that it is ok to go through these stages whenever you need to and as many times as you need to.

Here I sit years later, feeling guilty when I enjoy life and my son cannot, and feeling guilty about not crying as much as I used to. I have days of unimaginable heartache, where I fall to floor without enough strength in my muscles to get up until I have sobbed profusely. There are days when all I want to do is talk about my son as if he were still here, just to keep his memory alive. There are days when I am so mad at the world for taking him from me and taking away his opportunity to grow up and do great things. And most frequently there are many days where I want to shout to the world, “stop saying everything happens for a reason! You have not lost a child; you have no right to say that!

I believe everything does not happen for a reason, but you can find meaning in everything. You never know what kind of battle someone is fighting on the inside, so choose your words carefully, but do not feel that you must walk on eggshells. You are entitled to your opinions and feelings, but that is it – no matter what you have gone through in your life, you are not ENTITLED to anything else. Please remember that you are not obligated to listen to my opinions or agree with them, just as no one else must listen to or agree with yours. And remember, those opinions and feelings are yours for better or worse, so be careful not to be consumed by the feelings that do not help you grow and thrive.

Be strong.

There is no prince charming. There are no knights on white horses. There is no fairy godmother. And mommy cannot always fix your boo boos.

I am not a victim. I am a survivor. Which one do you want to be?

Disney 2005: Emma (sister), Jake (2), Shannon, Lily (3)

2023: Shannon, Lily, Emma | Full of joy